Marital Rape


                                                             

Rape is a condemnable act and the perpetrators of such a crime should be punished severely. Rape is sex without consent and no man has the right to force a woman to have sex with him .  For pleasure-seeking (read sex-seeking) men or women there is a plethora of options available in society.

But does rape apply in marriage too? That’s a sensitive question to answer. At the time of marriage, the woman gives her consent either through nikah or a marriage vow or whatever is the custom of that land or religion she belongs to. Shouldn’t that be considered as blanket authorization? If so, then no need for me to write further on marital rape because then it ceases to exist.

The truth is different, though. Martial rape does exist because several countries have criminalised such instances. If two people are married then isn’t it understood that they will be having sex? So, where’s the question of force here? It is also understood that not always both the partners will be in the mood at the same time – so the one who is in should gracefully accept the feeling of the one who is not.

But what if one of the partners is always not in the mood, then is it justified for the other to use force? And will that be construed as rape? The whole purpose of marriage is to enable togetherness both in heart and bed. If one of the spouses is denying his or her partner conjugal bliss continuously, then that’s a matter of concern. Marriage gives both the partners the right to have sex. God, family, society, law, all permit this union.

I do not want to touch upon domestic violence here because then I will digress. Violence has no place in civilized society. So, that’s a strict no-no. Other than that, if the deprived partner resorts to using seductive techniques like singing a romantic song, touching and caressing, or any other innovative ideas, to convince the snubbing partner to have sex with him or her, then it shouldn’t be considered as force.

The deprived partner is only exercising his or her right to have sex. But then the snubbing partner is also exercising his or her right not to have sex. That’s a stalemate that only two mature adults can handle.     

If violence, either physical or verbal, is used to have sex in marriage then only it should be classified as marital rape, otherwise all other practices should be considered as business as usual.

-          NZ

28.8.2019

BN: 110








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