If I Was…


                                                                    
If I was an animal, I’d have loved to be a lion. King of the jungle with couple of lionesses around me. They would hunt and bring me food and I would eat, have fun, and sleep.

If I was a bird, I’d have loved to be a rooster. Having my own harem, chasing young plump hens all through the day, and strutting about like a lord and master. That’s what you call life, man.   

If I was a woman’s body part, I’d have loved to be her navel, the belly button. So cute, so different, so appealing.

If I was a man’s body part, I’d have loved to be the hair on his chest. That’s one part all women love the most. So imagine being ogled at by so many women.

If I was a West Indian cricketer, I’d have loved to be Richards. Imagine having a name like Issac Vivian Alexander Richards. So charmingly exotic.  And having a walk like him and thrashing every bowler in the world with utter disdain. And to top it all have Neena Gupta as a bonus.

If I was a fictional character, I’d have loved to be Nick Carter. Read my blog Nick Carter: The Baap of all Spies to know why.

If I was a book, I’d have loved to be Finnegan’s Wake. Driving readers mad. Scholars breaking their heads to understand sentences that mean nothing to them.

If I was furniture, I’d have loved to be a book shelf. Imagine being loaded with books and books. What a dreamy feeling! What an extraordinary experience!

If I was jewellery, I’d have loved to be the necklace. Lying cosily around a woman’s neck and so close to her heart.

If I was Dilip Kumar, I’d have married Madhubala, irrespective of the differences that arose between them, and after marriage, would have settled them. Losing Madhubala to Kishore Kumar, I’d have never allowed that to happen.      

If I was a city, I’d have loved to be Najaf. The centre of knowledge and learning and where buried is the spirit of Islam, Imam Ali.

If I was a Hindu God, I’d have loved to be Lord Krishna. The consciousness of the universe. The architect of Mahabharat. The love-god. I’d play the flute and make the world dance to my tunes.

-          NZ

4.8.2019

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